For when I am weak, then I am strong. This biblical paraphrase is true, but if that is the case, why do we put so much pressure and unrealistic expectations on ourselves to the point that we succumb to mental health woes?
Strong black men and strong black women can easily handle the pressures of a world that often feels like it is caving in on them, right?
Strong black men and strong black women should have all the answers in the face of a global pandemic, civil unrest and violence, chronic discrimination, underemployment and other perils, right?
Strong black men and strong black women are very resilient because they know that “this too shall pass,” right?
Strong black men and strong black women are unconditionally forgiving and compassionate to everyone including their oppressors, right?
The illusion of the mythical inner strength and fortitude of “strong black men and strong black women” is one that often creates unrealistic expectations that can lead to emotional and mental turmoil and conflict. We venture to say that African Americans are by-far the only ethnic group that carries such label of supernatural strength that defies the limits of mortal femininity and masculinity. After all, a people who survived 400+ years of enslavement and ongoing persecution must be strong, right? Generally, when other ethnicities are referred to as strong, it’s usually in sole reference to their physical agility.
For the sake of our brothers, sisters, fathers and mothers, let’s stop pretending to be right. The notion of “faking it until you make it” is overrated and outdated. Collectively, we are not okay. According to the 2020 Household Pulse Survey, African Americans are currently experiencing symptoms of anxiety and depression at rates higher than other ethnic groups. Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness abound in light of the somber daily news reports.
Talking about stressors is an oft-used coping mechanism, but now that “Black Lives Matter” is being countered with “All Lives Matter,” valuable time and breath that should be used for venting frustrations is now being used to justify positions and counter naysayers.
We are not okay.
Not being okay does not mean that we have character deficiencies or that our psyche is flawed. It means that we are an equal part of a humanity that is divinely crafted and formed, but yet fragile and flawed. It means that our fears, our dreams deferred, our disappointments, our anxieties deserve just as much acknowledgment and attention as our counterparts of other ethnic backgrounds. Black mental health matters.
We are not okay. Truly strong black men and strong black women know that they are not navigating this ship called life alone. Their strength comes from taking advantage of the resources and tools available to help them. Their strength comes when they embrace their weaknesses.
Need more encouragement and inspiration? Check out Dr. Jamal H. Bryant’s message from June 14 – I Feel Like I’m Loosing It .
-Sojourner Truth
